The following t-shirt designs from our catalogue have been tagged "Funny". Click on any thumbnail image to see all the formats that the design is available in.
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"Gorgeous" George Galloway T-Shirt Current Respect Member of Parliament for Bethnal Green and Bow and sometime courter of celebrity. The man who has met Saddam Hussain exactly the same number... |
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"Has Tha Nowt Moist?" T-Shirt Peter Kay on the idiosyncrasies of the southern chip shop: They don't do peas down south. I went into a chippy I said Chips and peas, please. He said We don't... |
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(Not The Prophet) Muhammad T-Shirt A picture of Muhammad. Our lawyers tell us to categorically state that this is merely a picture of some bloke called Mo and is in no way connected with the... |
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1984 Robot Dance T-Shirt Dancing to electro-pop like a robot in 1984. The famous, futuristic dancing robot. Groovy. |
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40 is the Old Age of Youth... T-Shirt 50 is the Youth of Old Age. OK, so we are all getting older. Grey hair, crows' feet, incessant aches and pains where once there were none. Perhaps you are... |
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A L'Eau C'Est L'Heure T-Shirt High camp on the high seas. A phonetic/francophile joke - just say it out loud if it is not immediately obvious. |
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A Tree is For Life, Not Just For Christmas T-Shirt Time to hug a tree, not chop it down. A Christmas conifer pleading for its life. |
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Alan Partridge "Kiss My Face" T-Shirt Everyone's favourite hapless Radio Norwich DJ; Alan Partridge. Complete with one of his catchphrases: Kiss my face! |
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Albert Einstein "Creativity" Quote T-Shirt Dr. Albert Einstein quoted talking candidly on the true extent of his genius: The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources |
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Andrew Neil T-Shirt As seen in countless hundreds of issues of Private Eye magazine, the classic picture of old Brillo Pad, resplendent in his vest and baseball cap, embracing... |
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Arkell v. Pressdram (1971) T-Shirt An opportunity to, in legal parlance anyway, display profanity on the front of your garment and yet be met with nothing but puzzled looks from all but those... |
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Arse/Elbow T-Shirt A very handy diagram for anyone who doesn't know which is which.... er.... oops. |
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Art Should... T-Shirt Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. We've seen this quote attributed to a few people, not least of whom Banksy. It was too good not to... |
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ASBO T-Shirt Anti-Social Behaviour Order. It's not big, not clever, and definitely not something to advertise. Perfect to compliment the electronic tag underneath your... |
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Assembly Instructions T-Shirt Parodying those almost incomprehensible self-assembly instructions for flat-pack furniture. You know, the ones where none of the screws fit and you get a sudden... |
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Attack Of The Swivel-Eyed Loons T-Shirt Paying tribute to those hard-working Tory activists much coveted by Barmy Nigel and his lunatic fringe. We bring you the dreaded ATTACK OF THE SWIVEL-EYED... |
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Awesome Beard T-Shirt One for the facially hirsute. The perfect t-shirt for anyone sporting what can only be described as an awesome beard. |
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Ban The Bag T-Shirt Support the Campaign for Real Tea (CamRT), by joining our call to ditch the teabag and let the leaves flow free. |
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Barack Obama "Save The World" T-Shirt America's great hope, Barack Obama, depicted in the iconic style of Roy Lichtenstein and contemplating his day: Get up, go to work, save the world, make the... |
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Bass Hunter T-Shirt One for all the fishermen out there. Not some dodgy Scandinavian celebrity wannabe DJ/producer/singer, but the far more coveted fish. |
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Been There, Done That, This Is The T-Shirt T-Shirt A self-explanatory t-shirt design for anyone who has done (or claims to have done) everything. |
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Beethoven Ghetto Blaster T-Shirt Ludwig van Beethoven gets down and dirty to some funky tunes on his 1970s style boombox. |
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Benjamin Franklin "Beer" Quote T-Shirt It may well be the case that Mr. Franklin did not actually utter these words, but we like the idea of a founding father expressing his love for the amber nectar... |
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Bertrand Russell "Trouble With The World" quote T-Shirt The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. - the British philosopher Bertrand Russell puts his finger... |
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Beware of the Black Hole T-Shirt We're not exactly sure what this t-shirt is trying to tell us, other than steer clear of unimaginably powerful gravitational fields that have crossed the... |
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Big Cat Face T-Shirt Scare mousey by sporting one huge feline head. |
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Big Gay Bear T-Shirt Resplendent in leather bondage harness and matching cap, a large homosexual ursidae, or big gay bear. |
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Big Kahuna Burger T-Shirt Pulp Fiction. The scene: Jules and Vincent have just walked in on breakfast - Jules: Looks like me an Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about... |
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Bill Hicks T-Shirt A classic, much loved and much missed American comedian. I don't mean to sound bitter, cold or cruel, but I am. So that's how it comes out. |
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Black Sheep T-Shirt Go against the herd (or, indeed, the flock). T-Shirt design featuring a black sheep with a shaved anarchy symbol facing the opposite direction to her white... |
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Blessed Are The Cheesemakers T-Shirt I think it was 'Blessed are the cheesemakers'. What's so special about the cheesemakers? Well, really it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any... |
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Bob Crow T-Shirt Spit on your own and you can't do anything, but if you all spit together you can drown the bastards - the immortal words of Bob Crow, General Secretary of the... |
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Bradley Wiggins The Modfather T-Shirt Almost certainly Britain's greatest ever cyclist, and many would also label him the greatest sportsman ever produced in the UK; four times Olympic gold... |
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Bread and Circuses T-Shirt From the Latin panem et circenses, a metaphor invented in the time of the Roman empire to describe the chosen method of keeping the population diverted... |
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Breast is Best T-Shirt A slogan to live by, from the cradle to the grave. Mmmmm. |
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Brecht "Bank" Quote T-Shirt From Bertolt Brecht's Die Dreigroschenoper (The Threepenny Opera) - Macheath: Was ist ein Einbruch in eine Bank gegen die Gründung einer Bank? (English... |
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Bringing Sexy Quack T-Shirt With heartfelt and sincere apologies to Justin Timberlake: a sexy, winking rubber duckie. |
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Bubbles' Depo T-Shirt The Wire's Reginald Cousins' mobile shopping emporium. Serving the t-shirt and second-hand cellphone needs of all West Baltimore neighbourhoods. |
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Bullingdon Club T-Shirt We have commissioned a reproduction of the oh-so infamous (and largely withdrawn from public circulation) photograph of David Cameron, Boris Johnson et al in... |
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Cake or Death T-Shirt Eddie Izzard's take on the fundamentals of the Church of England: Cake or death? That's a pretty easy question. Anyone could answer that. Cake or death? Eh... |
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Capitalism T-Shirt Creating poverty and inequality since 1776 - the publication of Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations. Ronald Reagan provides his approval in classic 50s style... |
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Carbon Is A Girl's Best Friend' T-Shirt Several glittering carats of pure carbon polymorph, known to some people simply as diamonds. Printed in silver. |
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Carl Sagan "Apple Pie" T-Shirt Our favourite atheist astronomer's succinct demonstration that everything in the universe is fundamentally interconnected: If you wish to make an apple pie from... |
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Carl Sagan is my Homeboy T-Shirt Celebrating the fabled astronomer, scientist, religious sceptic and all round promoter of the existence of little green men. ...but if by 'God,' one means the... |
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Caution Gentlemen Duelling T-Shirt Sir, you have insulted my honour. I demand satisfaction. A heath and safety approved high-vis yellow sign warning of the potential presence of two gentlemen... |
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Celebrity: New And Improved Opiate of the Masses T-Shirt A play on Karl Marx's scathing description of religion as the opiate of the masses. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 21st century edition, a spoof on the... |
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Celebrity: New And Improved Opiate of the Masses Canvas Art Print Our take on the nature of modern celebrity available on a boxed canvas ready for hanging (which, some would say, would be too good for half the people... |
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Che Guevara Chimp T-Shirt An antidote to those sick of seeing people wandering about with the image of Ernesto Guevara emblazoned on their chests. |
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Che Shutter Shades T-Shirt Mr McRevolution, Che Guevara is given the pop culture treatment depicted wearing a pair of achingly cool looking shutter shades. |
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Che Wearing Che T-Shirt Ernesto Guevara during his rebellious youth. We have steadfastly refused to do a standard Che t-shirt since we started, but when suggested to us the thought... |
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Child's House Foreclosure T-Shirt The sad state of modern affairs: a child's drawing of their family home, complete with foreclosure sign. |
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Christine Lagarde T-Shirt For most it is often said that there are two inevitabilities in life: death and taxes. Not so for the current Managing Director of the International Monetary... |
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Class War - Enjoy Responsibly T-Shirt Enjoy, but be careful when smashing the system. A spoof of a familiar alcohol-related logo. |
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Class War: The Workers Strike Back T-Shirt The one where the proletariat rise up against the evil Empire that is their capitalist masters, only to discover that the big boss wearing black and breathing... |
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Clement Attlee: What Would Clement Do? T-Shirt The greatest British Prime Minister of the 20th Century, founder of the National Health Service and post-war Welfare State. When in doubt, you could always do... |
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Cliché Guevara T-Shirt We celebrate our favourite syndicated image of pre-packaged revolution: the cliché that is Ernesto Guevara. Our favourite use of his iconic image that we have... |
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Copyright T-Shirt Select your year of birth - demonstrate your individuality and uniqueness. |
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Corporate Rex T-Shirt Your CEO just turned nasty on you. A depiction of a suitably attired corporate dinosaur, ready to consume all that stand before him. |
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Cover Me in Chaucer and Throw Me to the Thespians T-Shirt A typically flamboyant dramatic plea on behalf of all students of the classic playwrights and works of English literature. Cover me in Chaucer and throw me to... |
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Ctrl Alt Del T-Shirt Reboot yourself. Microsoft's answer to everything. Control, Alt and Delete. |
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D-List Celebrity T-Shirt Have you ever been on Big Brother? How about having your self-respect stripped from you by Simon Cowell on X Factor? Do you dream of being a Pop Idol? Or simply... |
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Darwin Fish T-Shirt Creationism? Intelligent design? Organised religion? A likely story! Show your support for evolution and Darwinism: the universal truth. |
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Darwin Fish Canvas Print Christ's fish symbol, shamelessly appropriated for the believers of evolution. Complete with little fishy legs. Printed on a 22 x 14 canvas. Please choose... |
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Darwin Is My Homeboy T-Shirt The man who pioneered the theory of evolution and fundamentally changed the way in which we think about the world: Charles Darwin. Herewith bestowed an honour... |
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Dave Grohl Plays In My Band T-Shirt Nirvana, Foo Fighters, Probot, Killing Joke, Tenacious D, Queens of the Stone Age... If you require a jobbing session musician for your next album we've got... |
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David Cameron Joker T-Shirt The British Prime Minister is given the Batman Joker treatment. So you thought we might have been telling the truth before the election? April fool! |
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David Cameron Nosebleed T-Shirt What has Dave been putting up his nose? Our lawyers have told us that we must point out that, by his own admission, the Tory leader has not taken class A... |
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Dead Parrot T-Shirt A Monty Python Norwegian Blue that is definitely deceased, demised, passed on, no more, ceased to be, expired and gone to meet his maker, a stiff, bereft of... |
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Death Before Decaf T-Shirt Reject the evil that is desecrated tea or coffee. Stick with the full-strength, full-flavour, full-Monty (despite the sleeplessness, dehydration and... |
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Democracy: Some Assembly Required T-Shirt The perils of having to ensure that everywhere in the world conforms to your own definition of the term freedom, be that the freedom to have you choose their... |
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Democracy: Some Assembly Required Canvas Print The old tried and tested method of impose freedom using military force. Just make sure that you elect the correct man. Or else... Printed on a 22 x 14... |
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Deport The Daily Express T-Shirt A sentiment in keeping with our feeling on much of the 'news' that Dirty Des' Northern & Shell group produce: Keep the immigrants and asylum seekers. Deport the... |
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Destroy Capitalism T-Shirt Drawing on the influence of the branding of that symbol of global capitalism, Coca-Cola. Symbolism juxtaposed with message. |
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Don't Be Such A Square T-Shirt Hey, you... Don't be such a... (makes shape of a square with forefingers a la Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction). |
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Donald Morgan "Bible" Quote T-Shirt Internet secularist Donald Morgan sums up the inherent problem of delving too deeply into religion: A thorough reading and understanding of the Bible is the... |
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Dorothy Parker T-Shirt Purveyor of one of the most caustic wits in living memory, Dorothy Parker was a writer, poet and broadcaster. Blacklisted as a communist, honoured for her civil... |
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Douglas Adams "People Who Want to Rule" Quote T-Shirt The Hitch-Hikers' Guide author details his inherent mistrust of politicians: It is a well known fact, that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso... |
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Dr Yan Loves To Bang T-Shirt Dr. Yan Wong, star of the BBC's Bang Goes The Theory. One of those at the forefront of making science cool again. |
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Drinking Receptacle T-Shirt Featuring a technical diagram of a glass, filled half-way with water: The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half... |
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Drying Baby Instructions T-Shirt Useful advice for new parents. Keep baby out of tumble dryer. |
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Duncan Bannatyne T-Shirt Everyone's favourite Dragon. Well, apart from Peter Jones maybe. And that James Khan seems a very nice bloke. Deborah Meaden frankly scares us though. Star of... |
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Eat The Rich T-Shirt Famous punk and/or anarchist slogan originally coined by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who is reputed to have said When the people shall have nothing more to eat, they... |
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Eat Well, Exercise Often, Die Anyway T-Shirt Perfect for the cynical gymophobe. Put away the stairmaster, the salad, the tracksuit and the juicer and embrace the inevitable. |
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Emmeline Pankhurst T-Shirt The godmother of civil disobedience and one of the founders of the suffragette movement, depicted here accompanied by one of her quotes: Trust in God; She... |
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Emoticons T-Shirt An explanation of twenty-four of the most popular emoticons (those little sideways smiley-face things that inevitably pepper any emails and text messages that... |
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Enjoy Prog-Rock T-Shirt From Pink Floyd to Yes, via ELO, Rush and Jethro Tull. Grow your hair, wear a kaftan and enjoy Prog Rock. |
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Evolution Of Robots T-Shirt An alternative take on Rudolph Zallinger's famous March of Progress illustration which depicted what was at the time considered the evolutionary progress from... |
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Fantastic Business Accounts T-Shirt As a businessman, I love banking with HSBC because they have fantastic business accounts. And I sell cocaine. |
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Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap T-Shirt Look, it's an undeniable fact. Don't try bundling lardy into the back of your hatchback. |
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Feminists Are Cute T-Shirt Pink and covered with girly flowers. Because intelligent, free thinking women are just so adorable! |
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Fidel Castro "A-Team" T-Shirt Bearing a passing resemblance to Colonel John Hannibal Smith, leader of the A-Team, the Cuban revolutionary leader has borrowed his famous catchphrase here: I... |
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Flying Spaghetti Monster T-Shirt The pastafarian deity, complete with His Noodly Appendages. The ancient, historic teachings of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his role in the creation of... |
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Ford, You're Turning Into A Penguin. Stop It. T-Shirt The effects of the Infinite Improbability Drive from the Hitch Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy on Ford Prefect. |
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Frankie Howerd T-Shirt Star of Carry On and, of course Up Pompeii, queen of the double entendre: Oh look at the way it is today, It's getting out of hand, There's no... |
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Fuck Subtlety (Large Print) T-Shirt Fine or delicate in meaning or intent; difficult to perceive or understand. Fuck it. Printed large in an extremely unsubtle way. |
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Fuck Subtlety (Small Print) T-Shirt Fine or delicate in meaning or intent; difficult to perceive or understand. Fuck it. Printed small and subtle. |
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George Bush Quote: The Problem With The French T-Shirt When the leader of the Free World speaks, people sit up and take notice. Even if what he says is complete and utter bollocks. The problem with the French is... |
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George Bush What Would Jesus Bomb T-Shirt The dilemmas of office are all too troublesome for George Dubya Bush, but perhaps not so when one has God On Your Side. Iran or North Korea |
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George Bush: Is Our Children Learning? T-Shirt More words of wisdom from Dubya: Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?. Indeed it is, George, indeed it is. |
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Get Angry and Take Action T-Shirt The modern antithesis to the traditional stiff-upper-lipped philosophy of the original Keep Calm and Carry On motivational poster. In the face of injustice... |
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Gimli: Certainty of Death Quote T-Shirt Certainty of death, small chance of success, what are we waiting for?. The Lord of the Rings' favourite dwarf in philosophical mood. |
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Give Me Vodka or Give Me Death T-Shirt Patrick Henry's American Revolutionary War call to arms is reworked for the 21st century. To hell with liberty! Give me vodka or give me death! |
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Godless Commie Scum T-Shirt A bit on the red side? Bolshevik? Marxist-Leninist? Trotskyite? If that is what you are then you should be honest with yourself and tell the world how it is. |
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Gordon Ramsay T-Shirt The world's foremost chef of celebrity lets rip. Worst fucking meal fucking ever. |
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Gravity Makes The World Go Round T-Shirt Is it love? Is it money? No you fools; it's a simply matter of physics. Gravity, that's what makes the world go round. Gravity. |
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Gregg Wallace T-Shirt Masterchef's own self-styled ingredients expert with what can only be his catchphrase: Yummy! |
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Groucho Marx T-Shirt Julius Henry Groucho Marx, complete with moustache, eyebrows and glasses. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception |
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Grozny T-Shirt Welcome to the most basket-case of all basket-case former Soviet republics. The capital city of the Chechen Republic has probably seen better days, but you... |
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Guy Fawkes "Vote Guido" T-Shirt The only man to ever enter parliament with honourable intentions. Monarchy? House of Lords? Just follow in the footsteps of the original terrorist and blow... |
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Hades' Cat T-Shirt Sat on the far bank of the River Styx guarding the very gates of hell itself (although more probably asleep on the wall just behind his better-known canine... |
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Have Shoe Will Protest T-Shirt As every world leader worth his salt knows, you simply have not arrived until you have had a couple of size nines thrown at you by a disgruntled member of the... |
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Have You Got Any Quo? T-Shirt Forget your Led Zep or your Procul Harum, Mr DJ. Give me three of the finest sweet, sweet chords to rock out to. Amen. |
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Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again? T-Shirt The staple of every IT support technician when presented with an unfathomable computer problem. Have you also, perhaps, tried hitting it with a large... |
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Hello Boobies T-Shirt Celebrating the unbridled joy in every nine year old boy when he realised what would happen when he typed 5318008.07734 on his calculator and inverted it. |
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Her Majesty's Prison Australia T-Shirt Nice weather, attractive beaches, stunning coral reefs, wild outback (and thousands of deadly snakes, spiders and crocodiles). Too good for a bunch of convicts... |
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Hesitation, Repetition, Deviation T-Shirt From the rule book of Just A Minute, and in the words of Nicholas Parsons: ... where panellists are asked to talk for sixty seconds on a given subject without... |
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Human Body Ingredients T-Shirt A list of the most commonly found elements and their percentages (by weight) in the human body. Taking it from the top: Oxygen 65.0% Carbon 18.5% Hydrogen... |
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I Am Not A Terrorist (I'm Just Bearded) T-Shirt Does your 12-inch beard cause you problems with the authorities? Fed up of being taken aside for extra questioning at airports? Do you get stopped on the street... |
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I Am Not A Terrorist (I'm Just Brazilian) T-Shirt Do you find that you cannot run for the tube these days without abruptly being pinned down by undercover firearms officers and shot seven times in the head... |
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I Am Not An American (Canadian Flag) T-Shirt Hey you Canucks; are you sick of being mistaken for one of your highly strung, illiberal, gun totin' southern neighbours? Well, never fear: simply wear this... |
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I Am Not An Australian T-Shirt Kiwis; avoid those awkward situations where you have to explain for the umpteenth time that you don't care about the bloke's aunt in Brisbane because YOU COME... |
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I Bleeding Heart Liberal T-Shirt Champion every cause of the poor and oppressed. Even those that inconveniently contradict some of the others causes that you are championing. Just remember... |
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I Do Crazy Ivans T-Shirt Conn, sonar! Crazy Ivan!. Made famous by Tom Clancy's Cold War classic The Hunt For Red October, the Crazy Ivan was a manoeuvre performed by Soviet submarines... |
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I Like Short Songs T-Shirt Lyrical genius from California punk rockers the Dead Kennedys: I like short songs (repeat 13 times). |
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I Like/Dislike Schrödinger T-Shirt If you seal an Austrian quantum physicist in a steel chamber along with a Geiger counter, a hammer and a small flask of hydrocyanic acid and leave them alone... |
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I Never Finish Anyth... T-Shirt Perfect for anyone of a disposition liable to result in any variety of things remaining constantly unfinis... |
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I Prefer Their Old Stuff T-Shirt Well, they're OK I suppose. I thought their third album was rubbish though. To be honest I prefer their old stuff... |
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I Really Do Like Heavy Metal T-Shirt Slayer, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, anything from the Dark Side - we all have our guilty pleasures. Wear this t-shirt with pride and display your... |
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I Shot Diana T-Shirt Some would say that the people's princess was bumped off by Prince Philip, whilst others have the paparazzi on the grassy knoll taking aim at the queen of... |
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I Speak Three Languages T-Shirt English, sarcasm and sexual innuendo. A must for all cynical polyglots. |
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I Wanted To Give Thatcher A State Funeral Years Ago T-Shirt Never mind this clamour to send old Maggie off with all that pomp and ceremony, some of us would have gladly seen her six feet under twenty-odd years ago. |
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I'm Kind Of Irrational T-Shirt The square root of two: a perfect example of an irrational number, for anyone whose actions or opinions are usually inadequately explained using reason. |
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I'm Not From Around Here, I'm From The Internet T-Shirt Just what is reality anyway? For anyone who has perhaps spent too long online in a parallel binary universe. |
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I'm The One The Daily Mail Warned You About T-Shirt Are you an asylum seeker? An immigrant? A gypsy? A republican? Jewish? Homosexual? Bisexual? A socialist? An atheist? Perhaps your skin colour is a few shades... |
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I'm The One The Daily Mail Warned You About Canvas Print Unacceptable to the self-appointed moral majority? You'd best make sure you warn them. Printed on a 22 x 14 canvas. Please choose one of the background... |
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I'm With Stupid T-Shirt Complete with conveniently directed arrow for anyone who thinks solely with their genitalia. |
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Ian Hislop T-Shirt Esteemed Private Eye editor, Have I Got News For You panellist and the most sued man in English legal history (allegedly). Here with his quote on emerging... |
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Ich Bin Ein Berliner T-Shirt So, the whole I am a doughnut thing may well disappointingly prove to be something of an urban legend, but we still like the idea! |
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If Found Please Return To The 70s T-Shirt If you yearn for those heady days of spandex and brown corduroys, of disco and glam rock, of drink driving and the three day week then this is the t-shirt for... |
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If Homosexuality Is A Disease... T-Shirt If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work: 'Hello. Can't work today, still queer.' Robin Tyler, gay civil rights activist. |
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Ignorant Westerner Who Cannot Read Chinese T-Shirt Reading ignorant Westerner who cannot read Chinese We are happy to say that we have had this one checked by a native Mandarin speaker! An ironic take on... |
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Illegitimi non Carborundum T-Shirt Don't let the bastards grind you down. At the risk of upsetting Latin purists, it is probably also our duty to point out that illegitimi non carborundum is not... |
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Immoral Minority T-Shirt Do you feel isolated from the oft-quoted moral majority? Feel that your own ethics are somewhat out of kilter with those that the mainstream seeks to impose... |
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In My Head I'm Still Eighteen T-Shirt An octogenarian in body; a teenager at heart. For the forever young: In my head I'm still eighteen. |
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Irony T-Shirt (1): incongruity between the actual result of a sequence of events and the normal or expected result (2): an event or result marked by such incongruity (3... |
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It's Turtles All The Way Down T-Shirt The perils of the atheist, faced with unquestioned religious dogma, as taken from Chapter One of Professor Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time: A... |
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J.F.G.I. T-Shirt One of the latest acronyms to join the geek lexicon. Actually, technically not an acronym, unless you pronounce it jufgee, but perhaps it can serve as sound... |
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Jean-Paul Sartre: Original Existentialist T-Shirt A Banksy style image of the maverick French existentialist philosopher and Marxist Jean-Paul Sartre; the O.E. (or Original Existentialist) |
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John "Prezza" Prescott T-Shirt Two jags, two women, one punch. Heavyweight title contender who floats like a tub of lard and stings like a... er... croquet mallet. |
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John Snow "Checking Out My Socks?" T-Shirt A tribute to the veteran Channel 4 and ITN broadcaster. After such a long and distinguished journalistic career we hope he doesn't mind being best remembered... |
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Join The Dots Cat T-Shirt A novel concept in t-shirt design based on those classic dot-to-dot exercises that we loved as kids. Clearly birdy is about to get it. |
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Josef Stalin "Cast The Votes" Quote T-Shirt Words of wisdom from Uncle Joe: Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything. A philosophy still very relevant today. |
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Judean People's Front T-Shirt Declare you allegiance: you can only be one or the other. Splitter! From Monty Python's Life of Brian. |
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Justin Lee Collins T-Shirt JLC, Bristol's own Chewbacca wannabe, darts player, comedy genius and sometime television star. |
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Karl Marx "I Warned You This Would Happen" T-Shirt So, it has been established that free-market capitalism merely leads to rampant greed and exploitation and results in an inevitable financial collapse... |
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Karl Marx "I Warned You This Would Happen" Canvas Print That wise old sage Marx predicts the inevitable outcome of laissez-faire capitalism: Greed, corruption, recession... don't say he didn't warn you. Printed on... |
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Keep Calm and Curry On T-Shirt Celebrating the national dish of the United Kingdom. A spoof of Keep Calm and Carry On, featuring a nice hot balti dish above the traditional Gil Sans text. |
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Keep Left T-Shirt Sound directional advice for those of a socialist perspective. When in doubt, choose the left. |
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Kill Bambi T-Shirt Right, that's the mother dealt with. Now for the little 'un... |
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Launch ICBMs Dialogue Box T-Shirt A Microsoft Windows dialogue box, similar to the one that must inevitable pop-up when the Commander in Chief decides to press the little red button: Are you... |
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Lead Us Not Into Temptation... T-Shirt Never mind all that deliver us from evil and forgive us our trespasses rubbish, not to mention the bit about other people doing the trespassing. Oh Lord, lead... |
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Lenin "Hope" T-Shirt A t-shirt parodying the iconic Barack Obama/Hope poster. This time we are featuring the great hope of the Bolshevik October Revolution, Vladimir Lenin. Below in... |
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Lenny Bruce "Fuck the Government" T-Shirt Take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government Lenny Bruce: comic genius, 1925-1966. |
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Let Them Eat Cold Pasties T-Shirt In honour of the inspired decision of George Osbourne to demonstrate that he truly is a man that understands the people by putting a tax on the poor and... |
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Let's Kill all the Lawyers T-Shirt Shakespeare's Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, scene ii: DICK The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. |
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Libertea T-Shirt Truth, freedom, justice and tea. We must have tea. The Statue of Liberty is given a hot-beverage inspired makeover. |
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Life's A Pitch T-Shirt A fully marked out association football pitch, complete with correct dimensions as per the rules of the game of football. Complete with legend: Life's A Pitch. |
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Lily Tomlin "Rat Race" Quote T-Shirt A t-shirt design celebrating American actress and comedienne Lily Tomlin's views on the modern world: The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win... |
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Live East, Die Young T-Shirt This design was inspired by a piece of graffiti we saw out east. We were suitably impressed with the word-play initiated with the addition of a mere extra... |
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Lord Justice Leveson T-Shirt The cult, no-nonsense figure cutting a swathe through the seedy and complex relationship between the media, politicians and the police. We have also included... |
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Love Me, Love My Beard T-Shirt A plea on behalf of all those who allow their facial follicles to do as nature intended. Inspired by and dedicated to the fine gentlemen of the British Beard... |
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Lower-Upper-Middle Class T-Shirt From George Orwell's The Road To Wigan Pier: I was born into what you might describe as the lower-upper-middle class. The upper-middle class, which had its... |
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Luddite T-Shirt Caution: Luddite approaching. A triangular warning road sign depicting a frustrated individual taking a sledgehammer to his personal computer. |
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Make Tea Not Kettles T-Shirt A plea to the authorities: allow people the right to free protest, put your batons and riot shields away, calm down and stick the kettle on. |
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Make Tea Not War T-Shirt Pacifist principles give rise to a fine brew instead of all that nasty slaughter. Put the kettle on. Sounds good to us. |
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Malcolm Tucker "Sweaty Balls" Quote T-Shirt The best director of communications that Number 10 has never had lets rip at an obese American: Kiss my sweaty balls, you fat fuck |
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Margaret Thatcher Che Canvas Print The pin-up poster-girl of the revolutionary right. Printed on a 14 x 14 canvas. Please choose one of the background colours for the canvas from the drop down... |
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Margaret Thatcher Che Guevara Revolutionary T-Shirt Old Maggie Thatcher as you've never seen her before: in a Che Guevara style. Join the blue (rinse) revolution! |
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Marvin T-Shirt What to do with a maniacally depressed robot? You think you've got problems, what are you supposed to do if you are a maniacally depressed robot? Life, don't... |
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Marxism: Making Property History T-Shirt Join the campaign to help the poor and oppressed. Yes, become a Marxist and make sure that no one has any more than anyone else. In theory. |
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Melancholy Cat T-Shirt The very saddest of sad moggies. Big eyes and a melancholy air lead to one very sad Tiddles. |
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Miss World T-Shirt A little girl fires a gun at the world and misses.... |
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Mo's Corner Shop T-Shirt Mohammed Fayed is very proud of his little shop. A shop where you can buy absolutely anything....except perhaps a British passport. |
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Mogadishu T-Shirt Welcome to the jewel of the Indian Ocean; Somalia's own Pirates' Bay where the days are long, hot and sunny and the nights are... er... filled with the sound of... |
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Monkey Banana Gun T-Shirt Don't do it, monkey! The ape clearly having had enough. Goodbye cruel world. |
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MPs' Expenses T-Shirt A tribute to all the honourable members living out their lives in the pursuit of public service. Includes some of the most memorable justified uses of public... |
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Neasden Polytechnic T-Shirt Dedicated to anyone who has achieved a Desmond (A 2:2) from some nondescript former polytechnic, but still feels the need to walk around wearing a t-shirt... |
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Never Trust A Hippy T-Shirt A punk slogan allegedly coined by the Sex Pistols and originally aimed at Richard Branson. |
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Nick Clegg: Vote Thingy T-Shirt See, I really like the Lib Dems. What's that you say? Their policies? Well, not so sure to be honest. But I am a big fan of their leader. You know, that young... |
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Nine Bob Note T-Shirt As bent as a nine-bob note. Life-sized and based on traditional Bank of England pre-decimalisation currency. |
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No Bears T-Shirt I've been to Russia and there are no bears. To anyone who has visited this is undoubtedly obvious. To those who have not this may come as some surprise. |
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No Government Is Perfect T-Shirt All are doomed inevitably to fail, mired in self-interest, corruption and a desperation to maintain power. Let's face it, no government is perfect. Embrace... |
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No, I don't have a fucking reward card T-Shirt Nectar points sir/madam? Yes, I'd gladly hand over all my personal details to you, as well as let you record all my shopping habits. Let it be known that you... |
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No, Mr Bond, I Expect You To Die T-Shirt Printed in Auric Goldfinger gold, quite probably the greatest line uttered in fifty years of James Bond films. Sean Connery as Bond is strapped, spread-eagled... |
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Norge 2 - England 1 (Your Boys Took One Hell Of A Beating) T-Shirt In one of the most famous pieces of sports commentary of all time a rather excited Bjørge Lillelien reacts to Norway's 2-1 defeat of England in Oslo on 9... |
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Not Part of the Solution, Part of the Precipitate T-Shirt Uber-Science Geekiness. Solid formed within a solution by a chemical reaction, therefore if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the precipitate. |
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Olympic Riot Police T-Shirt A (not-so) friendly looking group of London riot police prepare for 2012. Welcome to London, everyone. |
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Omnishambles T-Shirt The lexicon from The Thick Of It that has been named the Oxford English Dictionary's word of the year. To the uninitiated, it is defined as meaning a... |
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Only Mum Can Judge Me T-Shirt A tattoo style design of hearts and swallows with a twist on the traditional only God can judge me motto. Choose to have either mum or mummy as the judge in... |
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Optimist T-Shirt Incorporating a picture of a half-full glass for all those of an optimistic persuasion. |
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Oscar Wilde "Fashion" Quote T-Shirt The great Wilde with a quote even more relevant now than a century ago: Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. |
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Ovett Is Greater Than Coe T-Shirt A retro-style 1980 Great British Olympic kit parody for all those class warriors who cheered on Steve Ovett over Sebastian Coe in Moscow all those years ago. |
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Paper Planes T-Shirt Four examples of military roundels affixed to paper planes typical of their countries. From left: Royal Air Force (British Armed Forces), Luftwaffe (Germany... |
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Pavlov's Dog T-Shirt Poor Pavlov's dog; there he is minding his own business when that bloody bell makes him dribble all over his chin one again. Feed Pavlov's Dog: Put an end to... |
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Peas And Carrots T-Shirt A marriage made in culinary heaven: the glorious union of fresh carrots with garden peas. Lightly steamed, of course. |
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People's Front of Judea T-Shirt Declare you allegiance: you can only be one or the other. Splitter! From Monty Python's Life of Brian. |
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Percy Thrower T-Shirt Were you part of the infamous November 1983 Blue Peter Garden make-over team? Do you take pride in being referred to by the pipe-smoking children's TV... |
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Pessimist T-Shirt Includes the image of a half-empty glass for anyone who favours pessimism. |
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Pleb and Proud T-Shirt Celebrate you membership of the proletariat. Ironically, the Plebeians were originally free and land-owning members of Roman society - akin to the middle... |
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Plebs 1: Tories 0 T-Shirt The full time score on the Andrew Mitchell saga, quite likely to be repeated on various occasions during the life of this parliament and possibly at the next... |
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Po 210 Sushi T-Shirt Served-up at all well renowned Russian buffets. Enjoy some Polonium 210 with your raw fish at Po-210 Sushi. |
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Pool Safety T-Shirt The classic pool safety sign from the 1970s, warning all swimmers of the perils of such things as smoking, bombing and... er... petting. |
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Primum Ego Tum Ego Deinde Ego T-Shirt Latin for First I, then I, thereafter I (or me, me, me) |
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Professional Yorkshire Lass T-Shirt Fer tha reet fine lass. Geoff Boycott, Michael Parkinson, Fred Trueman et al eat your heart out. Because you're from Yorkshire: say what you like and like... |
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Professional Yorkshireman T-Shirt Geoff Boycott, Michael Parkinson, Fred Trueman et al eat your heart out. Say what you like and like what you bloody well say. Also, for that reet nice lass in... |
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Professional Yorkshireman Canvas Print I'm a Yorkshireman me. I say what I like and I like what I bloody well say. For our friends from the White Rose county. Printed on a 22 x 14 canvas. Please... |
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Punk Lives T-Shirt Because punk will never die! For anyone still squeezing into those bondage trousers or sticking a safety pin through their nose at weekends despite masquerading... |
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Pyongyang T-Shirt A tribute to the beautiful city of Pyongyang, capital of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, in the style of a retro holiday t-shirt. Featuring the... |
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R.T.F.M. T-Shirt For anyone who has ever had the dubious pleasure of working in technical support: shorthand for Read The F-----g Manual! |
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Radio Rental T-Shirt Retro electronics retailer-inspired Cockney rhyming slang of a politically incorrect variety. For the uninitiated: Radio = Radio Rental = mental. |
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Ratners "Total Crap" T-Shirt Printed in 9-carat gold coloured text, Gerald Ratner's infamous technique of brand-building: People say, How can you sell this for such a low price? I say... |
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Recovering Ex-Radical T-Shirt (Please Don't Mention Thatcher). A t-shirt for any child of the 70s and 80s liable to get sweaty-palmed at the mere mention of old Milk Snatcher. |
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Red Ed T-Shirt Red Ed Miliband, glorious leader of the revolution, decked-out in Soviet-era bearskin hat complete with revolutionary star of the proletariat. |
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Republican Pest Control T-Shirt The answer to everyone denied their democratic right to choose their own head of state. Banish parasitic aristocrats with all new Republicanism; remove... |
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Riots Not Diets T-Shirt A call to arms to stop hating your body. Reject Atkins, Slim Fast, Weight Watchers and all those other commercial enterprises designed to make you feel... |
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Rock And Roll Rolls Royce T-Shirt In the big book of rock and roll clichés, this is possibly the one that gets most coverage. The vintage Rolls Royce being driven into a swimming pool... |
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Rodin's I Think T-Shirt Auguste Rodin's most famous work, re-worked for the 21st century and demonstrating modern meditation methods. |
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Ron Pickering "It's An Enormous One" T-Shirt Oh, it's an enormous one. My goodness me it's an enormous one!. Ron Pickering's reaction to Bob Beamon's monster long-jump at the 1968 Mexico Olympics goes... |
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RP McMurphy Fishing Tours T-Shirt Operating out of Siuslaw Bay, Oregon, not too far from the Oregon State Hospital in Salem. From Ken Kesey's One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, we doff our caps to... |
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Save Schrodinger's Cat T-Shirt Is Schrodinger's cat alive? Is it dead? Or is it, in reality, a mixture of the two? We have no idea; especially as it is a question that has puzzled the best... |
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Save The Stegosaurus T-Shirt Because extinction is forever. Forget the panda, the whale or even the red squirrel, safeguard the future of everyone's favourite dinosaur. |
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Say No To Cake T-Shirt As seen on Brass Eye's investigation into Czech made-up drug cake and endorsed by F.U.K.D. and B.O.M.B.D (Free the United Kingdom From Drugs and British... |
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Say No To Emo T-Shirt Some have been known to call this music angst-ridden, whiny, noisy crap for wannabe-nihilist teenage kids. All we know is that it is evil and... |
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Schrödinger's Cat is Alive/Dead T-Shirt The paradox of Schrödinger's poor little moggy, locked all on its own in a tiny box its very life or death dependent on the state of a subatomic particle: is... |
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Several Days Have Attacked Me At Once T-Shirt Do you ever get this feeling? I try to take just one day at a time... but lately several days have attacked me at once. |
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Shapes Are Cool T-Shirt We have struggled to find an adequate expression of our love for all things geometric, but have failed. So this will have to do. Shapes are f*ing cool. |
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Share And Enjoy T-Shirt Share and Enjoy is, of course, the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division, which now covers the major land... |
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Skeet Surfin' T-Shirt Inspired by Val Kilmer's debut 1984 film Top Secret! I wish they all could be double-barrel guns... |
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Slightly Damp T-Shirt Appropriate attire for anyone on the moist side of super arid. |
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Sorry, I'm Not Here To Fix Your Computer T-Shirt So you know a thing or two about this whole Interweb thing, and you can tell your USB from your IEEE? Do you also then find that on arrival at anyone's home... |
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Space Invaders Knitting Pattern T-Shirt A spoof knitted effect, as seen on countless Christmas jumpers from grandma. This one depicting a screenshot from the popular 1980s arcade classic Space... |
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Spike Milligan "I Told You I Was Ill" T-Shirt Author, comedian, Goon and scourge of Hitler and Muzak. The funniest person of the last 1000 years (according to a BBC poll), together with his epitaph: I... |
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Stephen Fry T-Shirt Featuring a stylised image of the face of the great Stephen John Fry composed of a quote of his describing his philosophy of his purpose in life: I am a lover... |
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Stop Children: Use Condoms T-Shirt A simple answer to a complex problem. And one that will lead to the inevitable demise of the lollipop-lady. |
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Stop Invading My Space T-Shirt Those pesky alien invaders from outer space... space invaders, that's what they're called. Beep, beep, beep... |
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Stop Staring At Me Like That T-Shirt Printed in tiny writing to encourage close examination. |
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Surgical Cats T-Shirt Dr Tiddles and his faithful anaesthetist Mog go to work dissecting a rodent. All in the name of important medical science. |
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Tea For Tutu T-Shirt The Archbishop Desmond Tutu, beacon of South Africa's struggle against the horrors of apartheid, enjoying a cuppa. |
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Tea Leaves & Boiling Water & Milk T-Shirt ...and either no, one or two sugars (take your pick). Your personalised recipe for a perfect cuppa. |
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Team Capulet T-Shirt Forget team Edward, team Jacob or any other angst-ridden, short-term, teenage sobriquet. Profess your allegiance to the Capulets of Shakespeare's Romeo and... |
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Team Montague T-Shirt Show that you side with the family of Romeo Montague. Proclaim yourself a proud member of the Shakespearean Team Montague. |
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The Evolution of Telephones T-Shirt Nearly 150 years of telephonic evolution, from a turn-of-the-century candlestick to the iPhone via the classic 70s rotary and a 1980s mobile brick. |
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The First Rule of Thesaurus Club T-Shirt Taking our lead from Fight Club's Tyler Durden, but given a literary slant: The first rule of Thesaurus Club: You do not converse, chat, speak, discuss... |
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The Flat Earth Society T-Shirt Magellan? A chancer! Amundsen and Scott? Poor deluded fools! The moon landings? Clearly faked in a Hollywood film studio. Join with your fellow seekers of truth... |
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The Force Is Strong With This One T-Shirt The classic Star Wars quote uttered by Darth Vader when dogfighting with a young Luke Skywalker. Complete with Rebel Alliance logo and printed in gold. |
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The Fox Hunt T-Shirt When you're in deep trouble, look straight ahead, keep your mouth shut and...say nothing! |
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The Meek Ain't Gonna Inherit S--t T-Shirt So how long we gotta wait until/we get the keys to the mansion on the hill?/The meek ain't gonna inherit sh-t/I want to know right now/how long we gotta waste... |
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The Ministry Of Silly Walks T-Shirt John Cleese in Monty Python guise. Unfortunately the government spends far too much on Defence, Social Security, Health, Housing and Education to properly... |
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The Older I Get The Better I Was T-Shirt Perfect t-shirt design for any nostalgic egotists looking back with rose-tinted spectacles. |
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The Revolution Will Not Be YouTubed T-Shirt A 21st century take on a decidedly 20th century slogan. The Internet is the future, and anyone can be a celebrity... |
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The Third Album Is Always The Difficult One T-Shirt The list of the great and good who have suffered the notorious difficult third album syndrome is long and illustrious; from Nirvana to the Killers via Oasis... |
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The Third Child Is Always The Difficult One T-Shirt For all third-born children. The devil resides within you. |
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The Third Child Is Always The Difficult One Canvas Print First baby: easy. Second: a doddle. Third child is where the trouble usually starts. Printed on either a 22 x 14 or 14 x 14 canvas. Please choose one of... |
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They Are Watching: Act Normal T-Shirt Good advice, if you live in a society where the average person is monitored by 300 CCTV cameras in the course of an average day, and when Basingstoke has more... |
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Thinking Outside The Box T-Shirt Sometimes the instructions for thinking outside the box are printed on the outside. A slogan to try at the upcoming corporate, blue-sky, away-day no doubt. |
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This T-Shirt Intentionally Left Blank T-Shirt The concept of the glorious juxtaposition of contradictory text (this page intentionally left blank) on no-longer blank page writ large on a t-shirt (or mug). |
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To Save Time Assume I Know Everything T-Shirt It's only misplaced arrogance if it is actually misplaced. Make 100% sure that the world is aware of your genius. |
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Tommy Carcetti "Hope" T-Shirt Drawing influence from the poster style popularised by another great American Democratic politician: Barack Obama. Show your support for the face of change in... |
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Tucker's Law T-Shirt Sadly not yet available on a tea-towel, the wisdom of Malcolm Tucker: If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking... |
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Turn It Up To Eleven T-Shirt Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and... Marty DiBergi: Oh... |
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Ugandan Discussions T-Shirt Talk Uganda with me - a phrase originally coined by Private Eye to refer to an incident at a 1973 party at which journalist Mary Kenny is alleged to have had... |
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UK Closing Down Sale T-Shirt Bankrupt stock; everything must go. One country, slightly used, being sold with a once-in-a-lifetime offer: buy the UK, get Iceland FREE! |
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Up Here For Thinking T-Shirt Up here for thinking, down there for dancing. Think with your head, dance with your, erm... feet. |
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US Waterboarding Team T-Shirt Fighting for truth, justice and the American way, from Tashkent to Guantanamo and anywhere else that apprehended suspects can be moved extrajudicially. 1) tie... |
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Value Horse T-Shirt A tin of the finest generic value horse, as found on all good supermarket shelves these days. Warning: may contain traces of beef. |
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Vegetarians Are Made Of Meat T-Shirt Have them any way you like: roasted, grilled, poached or smoked. Make use of your friendly local veggie - eat them for dinner. |
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Vegetarians Are Made Of Meat T-Shirt Have them any way you like: roasted, grilled, poached or smoked. Make use of your friendly local veggie - eat them for dinner. |
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Venn Diagram T-Shirt So, you have your t---s. You also get your w-----s and your c---s. However, it takes a special type of person to combine all three qualities in one. This Venn... |
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Voltaire "Vanquished" Quote T-Shirt Since the whole affair had become one of religion, the vanquished were of course exterminated. Voltaire's most famous of quotes, accompanied by a Christian... |
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Vote JR Ewing For President T-Shirt We've already had one morally vapid, Texan oil baron take his place as the most powerful man in the world, so why not everyone's favourite Dallas anti-hero? The... |
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Warning: Contains Mild Violence and Frequent Sex References T-Shirt Don't let them say you didn't warn them... |
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Warning: Contains Nuts T-Shirt A word of caution to anyone afflicted with a nutter allergy: Keep away. |
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We Can't Stop Here, This Is Bat Country T-Shirt Dr. Gonzo: Let's give the boy a lift. Raoul Duke: What? No. We can't stop here. This is bat country. In the style of Ralph Steadman, Hunter S Thompson's... |
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Welcome To Ambridge T-Shirt A road sign, welcoming visitors to Ambridge, pride of Borsetshire and setting of the sexaganarian radio soap opera The Archers. Please drive carefully. |
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Welcome to Fabulous Lashkar Gah T-Shirt A spoof on the world famous welcome to fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada sign, this t-shirt celebrates the lesser-known twin town, and capital of Helmand province... |
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Welcome To London: Missiles T-Shirt Welcome to London in 2012, where your tower block has its very own surface to air missile silo to keep those VIPs at the Olympics safe. Just don't ever try... |
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What Are We Fighting For? T-Shirt In the war fought in order to establish democracy and peace, two golden arches of fire launched from twin missile silos light the sky. One asks the other... |
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What If The Hokey Cokey Is All There Is? T-Shirt Knees bent, arms stretch, ra, ra, ra. That's what it's ALL about. |
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What Would Brian Do? T-Shirt The only question to ask yourself when seeking guidance in life. Can you tell what our favourite film is? |
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What Would Jesus Do: Bowling T-Shirt A 7-10 split in ten-pin bowling. The messiah's full array of miracles will doubtless be necessary to pick this one up. Those sandals are probably not regulation... |
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What Would Jesus Do: Play Your Cards Right T-Shirt An eight card is a definite freeze for any serious player. But what should our bearded prophet do when confronted with a number seven? Especially immediately... |
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What Would Jesus Do: Scrabble T-Shirt First to play and a rack of letters reading: J I S Z K M U. We have a double word score, but will the Son of God choose to risk all those points on a slang term... |
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What Would Jesus Do: Snooker T-Shirt In the pub having a few frames with St John and J.C. is tight up in the corner behind the blue. Just to make things worse, there is that column in the way of... |
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Where There's Tea There's Hope T-Shirt When all else seems lost, just remember this: some dried Camellia sinensis leaves, boiling water, perhaps a little milk and sugar according to taste. Where... |
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Winston Churchill Mohican T-Shirt A national hero who opposed giving women the right to vote, sent in the army against striking miners, advocated the use of mustard gas against uncivilised... |
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World Cup Beards T-Shirt A first XI of bearded footballing international superstars: Socrates ('82 Brazil), Djibril Cisse ('02 France), Ricky Villa ('78 Argentina), Olof Mellberg ('02... |
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You F-ing Plebs T-Shirt Quoted from the reported exchange between Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell and the policeman who tried to prevent him from cycling through Downing Street's main... |